RATAN PRIYA
word on the street is that flirting is a dying art, and Gen Z is the prime suspect. Why? Apparently, we’re too busy analysing every eye contact, emoji, and pick–up lines. Who would have thought that my fellow 20-somethings who make “being low-key” their entire brand would get roasted for taking ourselves too seriously. In our defence, the whole romantic-teasing could use a modern dictionary update. The line between cringe and classy is so blurry, it’s basically invisible—hard to make anyone blush.
There are plenty of moves you could make in 2024 to come off as a fabulous flirt. Liking your dating app match’s Instagram story is, obviously, flirting. So is sending hyper-specific romantic pop-culture posts to each other and asking “us when?” “What is your sun sign” also falls in the same category. But complimenting someone on their looks? Borderline hostile. “Smoking hot” is not a compliment because smoking kills. Calling someone pataka is simply tone-deaf when you factor in Delhi’s AQI. In fact, ‘bomb’ as a flattery is passe. It reminds people of war and genocide. Comparisons to universal phenomena also fail in getting the attention. One girl was told by a boy on Hinge that she feels like the calm of cold water at the parched hour of 2 am. “Did he just call me thanda paani?” she said, while swiping him left.
The idea is to not appear intense. We’re so terrified of coming on too strong that we don’t even send red heart emojis to insignificant others—blue, purple, yellow and most aesthetic white hearts do the job. Remember when Bunny in Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani said “flirting is like yoga, it’s good for health”? Yeah, he’s cancelled now. His take on the social practice is toxic.
In what’s now the most viral romcom moment of the year, ex-Spider-Man Andrew Garfield, in a way, redefined flirting for an entire generation. During a game of “Snog, Marry, or Avoid” with interviewer Amelia Dimoldenberg, he chose to avoid her, saying, “This is called flirting, Amelia!”And there it was: the Gen Z blueprint for romance—playful neglect with just a sprinkle of “I might be interested” (or might not).
The new love language
At this point, subtle negging has become the new love language. Exhibit A: When a 30-something journalist told her now-boyfriend she had a great time after their first date, he replied, “Wish I could say the same.” Her eyes popped, her heart stuttered—but somehow, she was charmed. Because in this era, romantic tension isn’t just about flowers or grand gestures; it’s also about seeing who can deadpan harder.
My generation is too scared of being perceived so we do everything in our power to be the cooler person, the most easy-going, the nonchalant player. Instead of invoking Joey’s sleazy “how you doing”, we tend to be very, very niche with our flirting game. Context, or popular movie, show and meme reference, is everything. If the recipient party understands it, well and good. If they don’t, we fail them in vibe-check. Who has time to explain—look, this character said this thing to this other character in this scene, so what I am saying to you counts as flirting—if you know, you know (IYKYK) or you don’t. There’s a reason why YouTube videos titled “How to learn the art of flirting” have millions of views in this over-informed age.
Some of us keep it simple to avoid the ambiguity. One girl on Twitter wrote, “My idea of flirting is me posting a picture and you liking it. Now I’m ready for us to be in a relationship.” I, for one, don’t know the overcomplicated nuances of flirting nor do I care to study how to get it right. I tend to keep my potential partners on the edge—is she flirting or bullying? Last winter, I impulsively decided to confess to a crush, which didn’t go as planned. My playful jibes at his music taste, outfit selection, and choice of drink received uncomfortable responses. The height of it all was my jokes on his pattern baldness. The result was a deadly awkward silence. Here I was playing hard to get, when in fact I need to stop playing at all. Or maybe he wasn’t the one.
source : theprint