The Muslims are coming, the Muslims are coming!

Posted at: Sep 24, 2017

Saba Naqvi

MOCKINGBIRD
Saba Naqvi

Indian television has been at the forefront of Muslim-bashing. If stories of traitors and love jehad weren’t enough, TV channels are making us believe that the Rohingya will spread terror

 

The Muslims are coming, the Muslims are coming!

I have spent most of my life believing in such nonsense as humanism, secularism, composite culture, ganga-jumni tehzeeb, unity in diversity and pluralism. Mention a cliché and I would be up front advocating it so strongly. I always believed that with India having such a large Muslim population, it was the only way ahead. We had the world’s second largest Muslim population after Indonesia but have now apparently been beaten to that spot by Pakistan, putting us in

We had the world’s second largest Muslim population after Indonesia but have now apparently been beaten to that spot by Pakistan, putting us in third position. Usually I don’t like being beaten by Pakistan at anything, but this is one race I’m happy to lose.

That’s because I now know how dangerous Muslims are. I’ve been consuming Indian television for the last six months (after Adityanath Yogi became the symbol of peace and tolerance in our beloved nation) and have therefore been enlightened. On the path to enlightenment one learns so many things.

So let me say it straight: from Kashmir to Kanyakumari those Muslims are a menace. I now believe that our primary national duty is not to feed the hungry or fight poverty, but to fix these overt and covert traitors. Imagine the sheer scale of the challenge: millions of traitors in our midst.

But I have an idea. Now that unemployment is growing and there is no job creation, I suggest enhancing the newly born sector, whose job is to detect if a Muslim is standing near a cow and subsequently thrash them. There is a great growth potential here as there are so many cows and so many Muslims.

Even before I sat under my Bodhi tree (my old Samsung TV) and enhanced my awareness, I knew all about the Kashmiri traitors. They keep quoting UN resolutions and talking of human rights but I know they are like this only because they are Muslims and they deserve to be kept eternally under the boots of our great Army.

Now we also have the Love jehadis of Kerala. These are even more sinister as they are putting up entire squads trained in the seduction of non-Muslim girls. The war strategy is to woo, seduce, convert and marry and then make the girls into terrorists of Islamic State. That’s what women do after they have been seduced: they agree to go to war zones and become terrorists. It’s a female thing. 
Never mind that the most famous love jehad case involves a woman called Hadiya who says she married a Muslim man of her own free will. It does not matter what an adult woman says as we know better. If she fell in love with a Muslim it was because she had been spotted as a potential terrorist. That’s all there is to it.
To add insult to injury, these Muslims are always being “appeased” by useless politicians. There are some politicians who say they will protect the rights of Muslims and they don’t understand that by stating this they become anti-Hindu. That is what I learnt from my nightly TV lessons.
There is no point naming these politicians because we all know who they are. But along with my favourite anchors I have sworn to bring an end to this appeasement politics now that I have understood what it is: briefly, though all the data shows Muslims falling on every socio-economic indicator and there is an attack on some of their traditional livelihoods, they are being appeased because the people in power say they are. 
There are a few jokers in this Muslim pack as well. There are the mullahs, great props for any TV show where they can say the most outrageous things about womens’ rights (or the lack of it). Every time they appear on TV and claim to speak for all Muslims, it does appear as if the fictitious appeasement is a reality. 
When the mullahs get boring there are some evil Muslim props that can be fished out. Dawood Ibrahim for instance whose houses in Karachi keep changing and other sundry dead and living terrorists.
There’s no chance of the supply-line of Muslim stories running out as an entirely new sector has opened up with the national discovery of the Rohingya. These are Muslims who face ethnic cleansing in Burma and are fleeing across borders.  We have learnt from TV that they are like “swarming” into our country where they will “infest” us with terrorism. Although these phrases are used for mosquitoes, we don’t mind using it on human beings as well who are coming towards us like swarms of locusts. 
Broadly, Muslims are marauders coming towards us to seduce women after they kill us all. There are swarms of them all around us and more are coming. Fore-warned is fore armed. It makes our wide chests even wider, thrashing such people, abusing them, and occasionally hitting them with experimental weapons such as pellet guns. 
I’ll sign off with Jai Hind, Vande Mataram, Bharat Mata ki Jai. There I said it before anyone accuses me of being a traitor. 
The article appeared in the Tribune on 24/09/2017
thetribune@southasiajournal.net'
The Tribune
CONTRIBUTOR
PROFILE

Posts Carousel

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked with *

Cancel reply

1 Comment

  • adilkhan46@hotmail.com'
    Adil Khan
    September 28, 2017, 2:47 am

    The article portrays quite accurately the rising tide of Islamophobia India which has been raging in India since Modi’s and his Hindutva’s ascent to power. This is as much disturbing for an Indian Muslim as counterproductive for India.

    REPLY

SAJ on Facebook

SAJ Socials

   

Top Authors